What I did instead of sleeping like a normal person last night

I had, of course, been drinking.

Whenever you find yourself staring out a window and thinking about your inescapable mortality while Jack’s Mannequin is plaintively wailing through the speakers – you have, of course, been drinking.

(You are also the same person who has spent six hours clicking through StumbleUpon while a ‘Real Housewives of Orange County’ marathon was on in the background, so frankly, your profound thoughts on the precious value of our fleeting moments lack a certain credibility.)

This is the contradiction that was bothering me:

On one hand, we have a world full of the most constant and shallow stream of information that humans have been able to invent. Twitter, Facebook, HuffPo, YouTube, texting, email on your smartphone, Tivo, Netflix, On Demand, Hulu…. The whole world seems designed to keep us from thinking about anything in depth, or from thinking about much at all.

On the other hand, thanks to cable news, websites and the 24-hour news cycle, there are constant reminders all around you that life is fragile and ends randomly and violently and suddenly with no forgiveness. Actually… maybe it’s not surprising we’d rather go back and look at more Lolcatz.

There are dozens of clichés about this: Live like you were dying. Live like it’s your last day on earth. Every moment could be your last. Like a lot of clichés, though, they’re also true.

Sometimes, it depresses me in the strangest ways. “My time here is so limited, and I have to spend most of it cleaning my house or drudging away at work. Why do I have to waste my few moments of life doing laundry when my mortality is staring me in the face?!?!” Of course, the answer is that even Mother Teresa had to wear a clean habit, so put your whites in the dryer, St. Francis.

Sometimes, it just overwhelms me, because I don’t know what it is I feel I SHOULD be doing instead of… you know, what I’m doing now. I just think it should be more grand and meaningful and memorable. I’m like an existential Underpants Gnome.

I didn't reach any conclusions. Well... that's not completely true. I reached plenty of conclusions last night about how I was going to make the most of every moment and do something that truly made a difference every single day and not live so pointlessly or cautiously.

And then this morning, I walked Charlie and cleaned the kitchen.

Because even Ghandi had to drink from a clean cup.