Endorsements

I've been thinking - why should politicians have all the clout? John Edwards can endorse Barack Obama and basically influence the course of history. Just by uttering one verb. "I endorse." Not just in politics either - anywhere, an endorsement implies that sales will go up, or more votes will be cast, or whatever. Prestige is increased.

Well, there are some things that I feel deserve increased prestige, so I hereby announce:

I endorse cruise vacations. Relaxing and filling and good for America - cruise vacations!

I endorse puppies. Adorable and squirmy and good for America - puppies!

I endorse The Office, 30 Rock and Bones. They're witty and clever and just crude enough. Also, good for America.

I endorse boy-cut undies. They're good for the 50% of America who wouldn't necessarily be expected to wear boy-cut undies due to their opposite gendered-ness. I realize this represents a reversal from my previous position on undergarments, but I've spend some time examining the facts and believe I am making the right decision.

And finally, I endorse my couch. It's so comfortable, I could spend all day napping on it and don't care if it's good for America or not. Vote for my couch!

Fight The Power

My friend Michelle bought a bag of Milano cookies today and brought them back to work. She settled in at her desk, opened the brand new bag... and found 12 neatly packaged, COMPLETELY DIFFERENT cookies inside. (Turns out they were Bordeaux cookies.) She was just disappointed, but I was more than that - I felt this was a wrong that must be righted.

So I called the 800 number. The 866 number, to be accurate.

Pepperidge Farms has the folksiest IVR system I've ever heard. "If you'd like to bend our ear about somethin', just go ahead and press 2." Seriously.

However, after a nice chat with Sylvia, I passed along her instructions. If Michelle just popped that bag of cookies in the freezer, in about 7-10 days, she'd get "several coupons for your time and trouble" as well as a plastic bag and padded postage-paid envelope. If she'd be so kind to mail that faulty bag of cookies back, Pepperidge Farms' crack team of investigators would fix the problem. And probably execute a bagging robot out behind the barn.